Finding time to devote to my blog these days is a rare treat and yet, even when I fear words won’t come, I make them because the process of pouring my thoughts out here is so cathartic. Not to mention it feels as though I get to have a much-needed conversation with all of you! (No one told me just how much new mommyhood can be such an isolating experience.)
Pre-kids, I remember my friend Betsy telling me how much parenthood made her feel like a true partner with her husband. How they were a team through all of its ups and downs. Seven weeks into this parenting journey of my own and I just have to say now: Betsy, I totally get it.
Never for one second do I take for granted the generational shift of the past few decades—a shift that has brought more and more men like my wonderful, doting husband full force into the hands-on, day-to-day hard work of parenting. When Nick gets home from work at night, I don’t hope that he’ll help me out with changing and feeding and bathing our son. I expect it. And to think that just a handful of decades ago, such expectations might as well have been akin to a trip to the moon, well, it boggles my frazzled mind.
There was a day last week where I woke up feeling a cold coming on (sleep deprivation is like, the No. 1 path to sickness, isn’t it?) and I honestly thought, “I don’t know if I have the energy to do all of this today“. Nick woke up, took one look at me and, because I must have looked like I’d been on an all-night bender, asked, “You want me to stay home to help you today?”
Of course my reply was that typical girl nonsense of saying the exact opposite of how I truly felt: “Nooo…no, it’s OK, I’ll manage” (words mumbled while falling asleep over our son as he cooed on his activity mat). And just like that, Nick decided for me that he was staying home for the day. He shooed me to bed for four more hours and bounced our son to sleep while pacing the living room floor. I woke up feeling like a new person, ready to reprise her role as mom.
One more memory of getting through these newborn days with my husband at my side that I never want to forget: There was a night a few weeks back where Dean was being especially fussy and my thoughts had turned to entertaining dramatic notions like “He’s never going to sleep through the night and I’m going to be rocking him to bed in his college dorm room at 18!” (I’m telling you people, sleep deprivation plunges you into the most absurd conversations with yourself). Nick came into a darkened nursery, knelt by my side and, as I rocked Dean, whispered, “We’re a good team, me and you. We have made it through so many ups and downs and we’ll get through this, too. Together. You know we will, right?”
Sweetheart, of course I do. But in those moments when I forget, I want to thank you for reminding me of what a blessed woman I am to have you—and this wonderful boy we made—in my life.
I love seeing you guys be parents. :)
Yes! Go team Werner! I knew he’d be a good team player in this! And yes, there is nothing more wonderful than your husband coming to save the day, when you just can’t do it any more. (I mean, we say we can, but THANK GOD they are there to pick up the slack!)
Gorgeous pics!
I just teared up reading this. I am so incredibly excited to have you in the club. Children change your lives in only a way you can understand. Life is sweeter, sleepier, funnier and more magical than you can ever imagine. You guys are so sweet together and you are one lucky mamma to have such an amazing husband. XOXO
So neat you remembered something I said about parenting!
No words… Just feel so much respect for your husband. Pretty often men do not understand how exhausting motherhood is… God bless him!!!:)
I have so much love for this post, Gail. Those first few weeks are daunting and I too remember those moments. It’s great that you’re taking the time to write about these thoughts and feelings – If only to see in a few months how far you’ve come and remember how you did it together. Dean has some pretty awesome parents!
Beautifully said! I also have a wonderful hands on kinda teammate, and a brand new little, and I cannot imagine doing it without him. Bravo to these dads, and to us for remembering to appreciate them :)
I can totally relate with this. We are 8 weeks and 1 day into our new parenting gig and my husband has been a superstar. I kind of thought he would be, but I literally don’t have to ask him to do anything…he’s already doing it. It’s such a blessing to have him by my side in the middle of the night when I can barely keep my eyes open. Congratulations to you and I can’t wait to watch Dean grow through your blog.
This was a perfect blog post! I totally get it, too.
So very beautiful in every way! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! You are a true inspiration! :)
I love this post. Like yours, mine is so hands-on I can’t believe how lucky I am. I would literally lose my mind some days without him, and I’m so glad Nick is there for you like that. Remember too that it is completely normal to be at odds at times. There were days where we fought over every little thing and wanted to kill each other. But when the dust settled over the long term, we realized that we were strong for the good and even stronger for the bad. You are in such a wild-ride season of life right now and I love seeing you and Nick embrace the role. Love to you all! XOXO
Melt.
You got me all misty-eyed in my office. What a lovely post, Gail. Dean is so lucky to have you both as parents!
I have felt the exact same way! Through every rough patch of being a new parent, somehow I become even closer with the man of my dreams! We are blessed to have been given such amazing men to share our lives with!!!
Thank you for putting love out for the world to see. Three times over, my sweet hubby has been THAT kind of husband and father. Your words conjured up bleary-eyed memories of those first months… I will hug my man a little tighter tonight because of your words. Thanks.
Aww I just teared up reading this – I’m so glad you have Nick as your husband/team partner for the rest of your life! Such a great guy:)
Reading this post brought tears to my eyes. I read it aloud to John and I got all choked up. I am so happy that your hubbs is so awesome to really be doing this with you. I think so many mommas have to carry such a heavy load, on very little sleep, while so many dads only get to see their little ones for only a very small part of the day. It makes me happy that you are truly Team Werner. I too feel so blessed to have such an awesome husband who I too expect will hold, change, rock and get all drooled over. Raising twins, there is no way on God’s green earth, I could ever do it with out him. We are both very lucky women, or rather ladies who chose incredible husbands.
Awwww…i just love you guys. you, nick, dean…you’re whole little family :) this makes me smile.
You have such a way with words, and I feel exactly the same way! I never take for granted what a wonderful, hands on father my girls have. I am so lucky to have such a great parenting partner, something that many women don’t even have in this day and age, much less decades ago. Thank you for this post. It warms my heart to know that you have a great partner in this parenting journey too! Even in the tough times, just look back and read this post of yours… It’s perfect :)
Lovelovelove this. So much.
Love this! You guys are doing a great job and Dean is so yummy! I was just telling a friend last week who is yet to have babies how your idea of what is “sexy” changes once you have kids. There is nothing sexier than your husband taking the fussy baby from you and saying, “I’ll give him his bath. I got this.” Swoon!
I have to agree with everyone else – you’re incredibly lucky and I’m so happy for you! And for your son, who has such an amazing daddy! Such a great post, I reallyyyy like it!
Your posts just keep getting sweeter and sweeter. Even though life is hard and it’s not all a bed of roses and you are honest about that, I am always filled with an unswerving hope when I read these posts. (And wish for a husband and babies!! :P)
Thanks, as always, for sharing!
Looks like great team :)
I loved reading this and it brought tears to my eyes and I’m not even a mother. It must be such a great feeling to know that you have such a loving & supportive “teammate”. :)
Love this Gail. You got a good one. :)
So behind on reading blogs but finally catching up and I love this post. Seeing you two jumping into this head first and taking on all the challenges and ups and downs is amazing. It will continue to bring you closer.
Just got chills. Couldn’t agree more, but of course you stately it so eloquently. Like you took the words out of my mouth. Love you guys and seeing you as parents :)